Dear Jerry,
I’m a lifelong Cowboys fan. I think what you’ve done for the team is
amazing. That stadium is simply thing of
beauty. You’ve successfully managed to
position the franchise as one of the most popular in sports period. Not to
mention doing so while that same franchise hasn’t won its championship in
nearly 20 years. Your business acumen is
seemingly impeccable. But this football
stuff is a different beast. Now I know you won a National
Championship as a Razorback, and by all accounts, were a decent ball player. But like I said, this is a different
beast.
I guess what I’m saying is, stay in
your lane homie! I don’t want to hear
your football opinion on my pregame broadcast. I don’t want to hear the team’s
game plan as explained by the old oil money man. Just like I don’t want to hear
trading tips from the long snapper. Play
your position man. If you wanna talk
about the profit forecast, or the marketing strategy, do that, but keep your
football commentary to yourself. When
the reporter asks you about how much the team plans to lean on the run game,
say: “Sir/Madam I don’t know, I just sign the checks. Ask the coach!” That’s all we need from you. Maybe the occasional “Go Cowboys!” soundbite,
BUT THAT’S IT! If you do that, even 2 times out of 10, the
football gods might bless the team with a positive turnover differential.
Sincerely,
Lost1
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